How Not To Ramzan

Of me, this you will already know: I'm no defender of the faith, a faith or any faith for that matter. I am convinced though, that whatever the Gods may be, they almost certainly don't have this constant thirst for appeasement and adulation. That would be Voldemort, or Sauron, don't you think? You do what is fair and just, you live, you let live and you help where you can. Everything else is just cosmetic fluff and dressage.

That said, I do understand the solace that benign, charitable and benovelent religious practices and traditions, steeped in millenia of human learning and experience bring to the soul for millions of people. I am after all, a conservative.

My disclaimer done, let me get to what I wanted to really say...

This latest thing, this annoying new pebble in my shoe, this so called 'Libdem Iftar' and the pronouncements from the odd rabble of Ed Davey, Layla Moran, Siobhan Benita, Ian Manning and assorted fruitcakes, and the one day, yeah, just the ONE measly day of fasting on the 25th of April is probably the loopiest idea I have ever heard of.

Trust me, I have had the abject misfortune of an audience with the exalted eminence of the Corbyn, Abbott & Chairman McMao troika - I know loopy down pat. But I digress. Sorry, as you were...

The observance of Ramzan (Ramadan) is a serious and sombre religious practice; a time of deep & humble (yes, humility is pretty much the central theme here) introspection. Millions of Muslims have done it for centuries, without any fanfare or making a song & dance about it.

Turning it into a farcical fad, a desperate signal of feigned virtue disguised as 'solidarity' in the typical colonial mindset wins you nothing but ridicule. Well in my opinion anyway.

Does anyone remember the oft misquoted and misrepresented 'picanninies and watermelon smiles' article by Boris Johnson? Of course you do. Everybody does. Well here's the thing: He was talking about you - you of the smug 'White Saviour' complex. The Ed Daveys, the Layla Morans and the Siobhan Benitas of this world. We know you don't mean it. You know we know you don't mean it. And we know you know we know you don't mean it, and yet here we stand, wondering what hell happened to British political discourse over the years. I distinctly remember it being a grown up thing instead of this infantalised 'me clever, you clever, we got bare GCSE, innit?' 8-bit video game.

The Tories have done everything they possibly could to look and be silly, Labour have been better at it and turned silly into a sublime art form. The Liberal Democrats, oh well, you guys just won gold 5 years in a row.

After all, as the silly sweepstakes go, nothing beats showing solidarity with your Muslim brethren than starting your very public holy fast with a belly full of bacon, complete with pictures to flood all social media showing terribly under-cooked pork on your plate. 

And you wonder why you're an irrelevant and spent force. Or farce, I forget which.

This is why.