Handwashing Tunes

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT:

Instead of the mundane 'Happy Birthday' ditty they're suggesting you use to time your handwashing routine, try my suggestions. Each of these should be about just over the recommended 20-second routine...

And you'll feel helluva a lot better.

#1

Well you can tell by the way I wash

I'm a careful man, no time to talk

Water's warm, the soap is slick

I've been touching crap

I shouldn't have been

Well it's all right, it's okay

I will live another day

And you can try, to understand

The fight between virus and man

Whether you're a brother

Or whether you're a mother

You're stayin' alive, stayin' alive

Feel the city breakin' and everybody shakin'

And we're stayin' alive, stayin' alive

Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive, stayin' alive

Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive

#2

Oh baby, baby

I shoulda just used some soap

Sanitiser wasn't right here

Oh baby, baby, I shouldn't have touched your nose

Now you're crying out your eyes, yeah

Show me how you want it to be

Tell me, baby, 'cause I need to know now, oh because

This Covid crap is killing me (and I)

I must confess, I touch and feel (touch and feel)

When I'm not with you I like to grind

And give out signs

Grope me baby, one more time

#3

And now, soaptime is here

Right after I flush the cistern

My friend, I'll wash 'em clear

And I'll scrub in haste,

All the pathogens.

I'll live a life that's full

For I've been taught, basic hygiene

And more,

Much more than this,

I'll wash 'em my way

You are very welcome.