Tuesday, 17 December 2013

Introspection

It is a perverted leap of faith, the belief that your abilities will shine through the dross that makes up ordinary people's lives. The frailty of genius is in that it always needs an audience, even when none seems likely; despite that, and rather foolishly, I continue to seek approval. 

I hold my breath for applause that will never come, for cheers I will never hear and validation I will never be able to claim, or Bon Jovi would put it, "As I dream about movies they won't make of me when I'm dead...". 

There is no greater hurt than to worship and not be worshipped in return; no greater heartbreak than loving and being spurned; no greater insult than your intellect being compared unfavourably to base juvenile instinct; no greater wound than a barefaced lie; no greater pain than being surrounded by people and yet feeling alone.

I don't know where I go from here, I'm not even sure there is anywhere to go to. That the world needs changing isn't the scariest of thoughts; that I might have to, is what terrifies me.
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