I Bought A Bird Feeder

I have no idea where this originated and will post acknowledgements when I find out.


I bought a bird feeder. I hung it on my back patio and filled it lovingly with seed. Within a week we had hundreds of birds taking advantage of the continuous flow of free and easily accessible food. 

But then the birds started building nests in the boards of the patio, above the table, and next to the barbecue.

Then came the shit. It was everywhere: on the patio tile, the chairs, the table... everywhere! 

Then some of the birds turned mean. They would dive bomb me and try to peck me even though I had fed them out of my own pocket. 

And other birds were boisterous and loud. They sat on the feeder and squawked and screamed at all hours of the day and night and demanded that I fill it when it got low on food.

After a while, I couldn't even sit in my own back garden any more.

So I took down the bird feeder and in three days the birds were gone.

I cleaned up their mess and took down the many nests they had built all over the patio. 

Soon, the back yard was like it used to be: quiet, serene and no one demanding their rights to a free meal.