Vote Brexit Vote Diversity

I have been to mainland Europe only twice in my entire life. I speak seven languages, four of them to a level where I can (and often do) write poetry in them. I can Bhangra, Garba, Qarsak, Disco, Line Dance, Waltz, and hell, even break-dance, (badly). I enjoy Kirtan, Bhajans, Sufi poetry, Pslams & Hymns, Daler Mehndi, Gurdas Mann, Mohammad Rafi, Kishore Kumar, Manna Dey, Bryan Adams, Bon Jovi, Guns 'n' Roses, Metallica, Joni Mitchell, Red hot Chilli Peppers, Googoosh, Ahmad Zahir, Farhad Darya, and a whole lot of others that appeal to my soul.

I've read the Guru Granth Sahib, the Bhagwad Gita, some of the Vedas and Upanishads, The Bible, the Koran, The God Delusion, and a Brief History of Time, and often quote from them. My favourite authors are Tagore, Sada'at Hassan Manto, Munshi Premchand, Shakespeare, Robert Burns, George Orwell, Aldous Huxley, Nasim Nicholas Taleb, Ibn Battuta, Bullèh Shah, Mark Twain, WH Auden, PB Shelly, Victor Hugo, Voltaire, Charles Dickens, and a myriad of bloggers that aren't afraid to say what they need to say.

I don't take offence if my beliefs (or lack of them), my appearance or my customs are ridiculed or made fun of. Some of them ARE funny as shit and the stereotypes they invoke are funnier still. My Gods may seem weird to you, but then yours do to me as well, which is fine. Mine have lasted many centuries and many millennia, as have yours, and they'll easily withstand and weather a little bit of ribbing and fingering from the odd comedian or a stupid bigot.

Where I draw the line is when you think I and my kind need to be obliterated or converted. My beliefs and I are not better than you and your beliefs, and neither are yours better than mine. The moment you think they are is when you become a lesser individual, and therefore the enemy. That is the point at which I will resist you and fight you. The Gods I believe in or political stance I take don't need their honour or validity defended by mere mortals. That yours might suggest otherwise shows how pathetically weak they are. Which is why I will win, every single time.

My morality, my moral stance, and how I choose to live my life and raise my children should be no concern of yours, until or unless I seek to coerce you into believing what I believe and doing what I do. Don't agree with me, and by all means make fun of it, but don't expect me to agree with or fall in line with you. Any divine right you think you have, if there is such a thing, is equally mine as it is yours. To expect me and force me to live by your rules is nothing but tyranny, and I for one, will not stand for it.

This is why I voted Brexit. I would still vote Brexit if it came to it - again. This why I am a conservative. This is why this isn't a fight against diversity, it is a fight FOR diversity. We are all different. That is what makes us, every one of us special. I celebrate differences, I am of the opinion that we MUST be allowed to evolve on our own terms instead of being forcibly homogenised into a bland blob of conformity. 'Vive la difference', as the French would say.

My life's motto? "An' it harm none, do what ye will." Other than that, you can fuck right off."

Would you like cashback with that?

You know what annoys me most about checkouts at supermarkets? 

It's when they pile up the the receipt, the change, and the coins, and just stuff the whole stack into your palm. These are three different things, they go in three different places.

I know you've made a sale, and you've just knocked your KPIs out of the park and all, but tarry a little. I'm anxious to go home as well. Why don't you chuck the receipt into the bag, hand over the notes, and THEN the coins? And please, please smile. Maybe I'm having a shit day too.

As for those in the queue right behind me, breathing down my neck - back off a tad. Getting where I am has been a mission. Let me have my moment. Consider yourself lucky and blessed, for you're up next. Dwell on that while I put my stuff away.

#FirstWorldProblems

Greta snubbed, say the snobs

Reportage this week: "Greta Thunberg snubbed for Nobel Peace Prize by committee run by Norway, one of the world's biggest oil and natural gas exporters."

Snubbed? Give me a break!

Funny how Norway weren't "one of the world's biggest oil and natural gas exporters" when they awarded it to IPCC and Al Gore.

Besides, can anyone name any other country in the world that has adopted more climate change mitigation technologies and solutions than Norway?

People are actually disappointed that an upper-class white teenage girl who helps instigate mass hysteria was robbed of a Nobel Peace Prize in favour of an African black leader who, in less than two years of being Prime Minister, ended a 20-year war, bringing actual peace in a region crawling with machete weilding brigands.

Wokism has gone full circle, like a snake eating its tail.

The Squatter MPs

To every MP that switched parties midterm and was too chicken to call a bye-election:

You are in the privileged and exalted position of being a Member of Parliament because of many little people, most of them very young with very limited means, who relentlessly distributed your leaflets and knocked on mostly hostile doors, come rain or shine, in sweltering heat or biting cold, fighting your case, only because they believed in you and the manifesto you stood on, often spending their own money and sacrificing their time to get to your constituency.

You've just spat in every one of their faces.

You are a Member of Parliament under false pretenses. You, are a fraud.

Go on, explain to me why and how you are not.

So, this is how liberty dies - with thunderous applause

The youth in Hong Kong are braving tear gas, batons, and live ammunition for democracy, and the youth of Britain are painting their faces blue and blocking streets in a desperate bid to give theirs away.

Strange times.

Regurgitating Racial Epithets, Dhesi Style

I last heard the term 'towel-head' some 37 years ago, in school, that too in a gentle ribbing by a friend.

I mean, what kind of 1980s moron says 'towel-head' anymore?

Or so I thought. I heard it again just 4 days ago from a rabid remainer, who colourfully embellished it as "towel-headed useful idiot".

I know Tan Dhesi is thrilled at his rousing act in parliament, and that it's gone viral all over Facebook and Whatsapp.

Thanks to him though, a whole new generation has been introduced to a hitherto extinct racial epithet.

It just set us Sikhs in the UK back by several decades.

Just what we need - Palpatine

With all the names being lobbed about for a caretaker Prime Minister, we'd do well to remember the last time a socialist was given "temporary" executive control of his country to overcome a political crisis.

It was in 1933, and his name was Adolf Hitler.

Set Your Monkey Free

Sooo... right now, there's a guy sitting in his living room in a silk dressing gown and soft slippers, swirling a couple of ice cubes in a tumbler with 35ml of a 50-year old whiskey wondering if the picture of a bunch of simians in a room was worth the £10 million he paid for it.

I see them for free, every Wednesday, with sound.

Dear Extinction Rebellion

You know, when I was little, a milkman would come round in the morning to deliver milk from a steel cannister into whatever utensil we needed it in, usually a steel pan, which would go straight onto the hob for boiling before being put away into the fridge. My mum would skim off the cream for me to enjoy later.

We used to buy a crate of 24 glass Coca Cola bottles from the shop, and return them when empty, in exchange for refills.

We'd buy cheese and yoghurt in little clay pots, and a guy would deliver fresh grapes, also in sealed earthen pots.

Coffee or tea to go was never a thing. We'd get it in little glasses, made of well, glass.

Grocery shopping was almost always packed in brown paper bags, and sometimes in jute tote bags and wicker baskets which we'd use till they fell apart. We'd buy meat, chicken and fish from the local butcher or fish market, having it cut just the way we wanted it. No one trusted pre-cut and pre-packaged meat.

We'd darn socks, sew buttons on, and wear clothes till they were completely knackered and faded within an inch of their lives.

And we'd cycle pretty much everywhere. And walk to school.

I'm not talking of some idyllic bygone era - this was a mere 25-30 years ago. Pretty much everyone over the age of 40 remembers this.

So before you glue yourselves to pavements and offices and spray buildings with beetroot juice (which WE will have to clean up), block the streets with your LSDesque hippie protests through interpretive dance and prevent poor folk from going to to work so they can feed their families, you might want to remember, it isn't us that clogged the drains, pissed into the rivers and shat in the oceans.

It's you lot. It's all your fault. Just go home. Go home and look on your sins.